セブ山 
Hi, I’m SEBUYAMA.
Let me ask. How do you communicate with your followers on twitter usually?
Maybe, when you tweet “I’m home”, they would react “welcome back”, as well as “I’ve caught a cold” and “are you alright?” Ah, warm, hearty exchange of words.
However, that kind of lukewarm communication happens only in twitter.
What if when unpredictable trouble really happens to you? Will your followers care about you from bottom of their heart, and rushes in for rescue?
Is there bonds?
Is there love?
fgggghhhfggfgggfggffhhhooooooo!
(Lets find it out!)
The experiment will be held under a situation in which SEBUYAMA had been kidnapped by someone.
Of course, it is a fake situation.
We will use SEBUYAMA’s twitter account to send an SOS.
There is approximately 1500 followers. How many of these people would come for rescue?
Now, let us begin.
Sign of incident
Not only to make the experiment successful, I’ll make an suspicious tweet as a bait in order to gain reality and to incite anxiety.
uh, feels like someone is after me?
Oh no…he is actually stalking after me…no kidding…who the heck
SHIT!! HE’S RIGHT BEHIND ME!! SOMEONE HEL?
■follower’s reaction
At this point, there were replys like “no kidding” or “must mistook your own shadow.” I feel pretty guilty to deceive my followers, but to tell the truth, I was happy about the fact that there is some people who really cares me.
An event occurs
Alright, now is the time.
There is an announcement from the (fake)culprit who took over SEBUYAMA’s twitter account.
We have taken over SEBUYAMA’s account. Now, we will test all of you followers whether you care about SEBUYAMA or not. If you wish to save him, come for rescue to Yoyogi Park in 20 minutes.
■follower’s reaction
After this tweet, the timeline goes crazy for a moment. Most of the reactions were like “looks?cold” or “Is this some kind of role playing or something?“, but some of the followers gave replys saying “hold on! here I come!” Let’s count on them.
and yet, it is freakin’ cold outside.
As for its fake, I’ll free my hand and check the reaction while waiting.
It’s cold. Now if I think about it, I should’ve worn something if my hands were free.
No one came for help. Maybe 20 minutes were too short.
To make the followers feel “gotta hurry!“, let’s proceed to the execution.
Unfortunately nobody came for rescue, so here is the execution.
■follower’s reaction
“SEBUYAMA!!” “how cruel…” “Noooooooooooo“
Finally, followers seem to sense danger in the situation.
Seriously, if you don’t come, the punishment gets harsher. Next execution will be done in 20 minutes. If you wish to save him, come to Yoyogi Park.
The culprit announces next deadline.
Will the followers come for rescue this time?
By the way, laundry crips hurt way more than I’ve expected.
30 minutes have passed since the situation started, none of the followers came for rescue.
After all, is this what Twitter followers really are…?
Time passes heartlesslly, and the execution is being done continuously.
Not one person comes so the execution will be done for the second time. Can you hear his desperate scream?
（gummed tape on leg hair）
■follower’s reaction
“Oh come on! Someone save him! Me? I’m busy eating noodles” “What the hell are you doing from the beginning of the year lol” “gee, SEBUYAMA looks fun“
Time’s up. Sentence executed.
No one comes for help at all
It’s been almost an hour from the beginning, and not one person comes for help.
Maybe, the execution was too mild.
Yes, it is certain that punishments like “gummed tape on leg hair” or “rubber smack” is kindergarten stuff, and maybe the reason why nobody is taking the situation seriously.?
So, we decided to make the execution more serious.
Stupid followers…the 4th execution will be in 20 minutes. If anyone comes, we’ll free SEBUYAMA.
Wasabi in the nose. How painful.
The followers must get serious for we have gone this far.
and at last, the time has come…
A FOLLOWER COMES FOR RESCUE!!
YES!! Finally!! A brave follower rushes in for rescue!
It has been proved that if we make an serious SOS by putting wasabi in the nose, the followers also react seriously!
■follower’s reaction
There are warm comments like “fantastic!” “Sorry for the absence” “looks fun lol.” Happy ending.
Result
The follower DOES come for rescue in case of danger!?
So there was love in Twitter after all…Alright, since a follower came for rescue, we’ll free SEBUYAMA as promised…
“Hmm…it pretty sucks when you have 1500 people and only one of them comes for help.”
Ha! Just kidding! Now this gay follower has been kidnapped too!
So, we’ve decided to continue the experiment.
We’ll restart by tying up the follower who came all the way for the purpose.
How many more followers would come for rescue?
Stupid followers, take this serioiusly. Next execution will be in 20 minutes. If you don’t come for rescue, we can’t guarantee SEBUYAMA and one follower’s life.
Next execution involves this ice water.?
We can’t be loose at this point, so here is an ice water execution.
Now there’s a real punishment, but dealing with ice water in the middle of winter does matter, so FOR GOD’S SAKE SOMEONE COME FOR HELP!!
■follower’s reaction
“big day for SEBUYAMA” “STOP! How could you! SEBUYAMA, ur gonna die for sure!!” “Oh damn, kotatsu is too cozy to get out. Sorry SEBUYAMA“
“Noooo! Only 1 minute left! It is a killer! Please! Someone!”
Does?…
Miracle?…
Happen…?
no, it doesn’t.
■follower’s reaction
(LMFAO)
“It is…too harsh…let’s end this once and for all…”
Get ready for the final execution. It will be done in 20 minutes. If anybody doesn’t come for rescue, a man named SEBUYAMA, which all of you follow, will suffer a cruel death.
“Someone…please please please…help me…”
“wha..!?”
“That person’s coming toward us!”
“It, it can’t be….no, it must be!!”
“Y, You must be my follower!! You are here to recue me!!! Right?”
“No I’m not. I saw a retweet from another Omocoro editors, and thought it would be fun to come over and watch. Actually, I do not follow SEBUYAMA on twitter, too”
Conclusion
There is no love on Twitter.
